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Jessica Simpson has Baby...Girl?

 

(courtesy zmag. FYI this is NOT Jessica Simpson’s baby)

I hate to be a jerk here. Babies are a cause for celebration, especially when an entire population has taken it upon themselves to debate your weight gain for said pregnancy. But, J. Simps, I have to complain:

Why, why, WHY would you have a baby GIRL and name it Maxwell Drew? I don’t care if it shortens to “Maxi” (talk about a nickname asking to be picked on in the middle school btw), it’s an awful choice. I realize Drew is your Mom’s maiden name, but couldn’t you have saved that for, say, a son’s first name? And, sure, Maxwell is ”a family name on your husband’s side”…but let me ask you: Was it his Great-GRANDFATHER’S name?
 
(Also, you allegedly bought your own engagement ring. Shouldn’t YOU get to pick the baby name of the child you endured endless insults about your weight for?)
(courtesy popsugar)
 
 
Listen, you knew the baby’s gender months ago. Wasn’t that enough time to come up with a slightly more feminine, less feminine-product name? I mean, I prefer Suri and Shiloh to this, and we all know how much I mocked those names when they were born.
 
I’ll give you this though. You gave your baby a name that’s better than at least one ex (Tony Romo’s Hawkins, born in April). *PLUS* they won’t share a birth month, as previously expected, which is Aces. However, I’ll reserve final name/baby superiority judgment until later this year…when your other ex has a baby (2012 is really a Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon Separation for your babies, huh?). Best Wishes!
 
Update: It was recently pointed out to me that at least she went with an actual NAME for her child, not a place or thing (aka Apple, Blue, Denim, etc) and it is a real spelling (not Maexywiell). So there’s that.

Filed under jessica simpson whatareyouthinking baby names